Another step forward

I've been "talking" with my Widow Island friends, sharing experiences and it led me to do some reading on things I've studied in the past. Things which have been a real help in my ability to live my life effectively and happily.
I've been seeking to get some perspective on who I am now, where I'm going.
In my reading I came across concepts I had not focused on for a very long time. I've come to a major realization that I just had to share.
It may sound like a "duh" thought but there is a great deal of depth and meaning to this. For 27 1/2 years my definition of who I am, my stable datum as it were by which I've defined ME, was as JD's wife, part of a couple. And what a couple we've been!!! Our relationship has been the envy of many who had not achieved what JD and I shared.
With JD's death I not only lost him and all the wonderful and ornery things he was but I also lost ME.
My children don't really need me on even a weekly basis. They need to know I'm here, they need to be able to talk to me, share with me sometimes but they don't need me in order that they may live their lives. Because of that "mother" is a small part of how I've defined myself over the more recent years.
My friends are fabulous and part of who I am IS "friend". I am also Sister, but I've pretty much lost being daughter with Dad's descent into dementia and Mom's death eight years ago.
Still, the biggest part of my own definition of who is Casey has been "JD's Wife", part of a couple. My email address reflects that. I've considered me part of a "twosome" for so long that losing JD cost me more than I had realized, and I knew I'd lost a tremendous lot.
He was what defined my life. Even my passtimes (hobbies, art, creativity) focused on him, what he could help me learn, how he viewed my creations.
It is, then, no wonder that my world has been spinning out of control to a large degree since Oct. 23, 2009.
Who then, am I? Well, I'm working on that. Where am I going to take this life I'm still living? I'm working on that too. When I have some answers I'll share them with you.
Meanwhile the pain continues although abated to some degree. I will return to my studies as I know I will find answers. I will continue to create and I will rebuild my store that I moved back to my home. I haven't lost me entirely, just a huge part of who I KNEW I was. I am becoming...