Well into year three...

Many of you have been with me since about WEEK two or three when I found you on Widowisland (yahoo.com).

Hard to believe it was two years ago last November.
The roughest times are behind me which isn't to say there are no tears or emptiness remaining as you all well know.

Now and again I wake up in the night and for just a moment wonder why my trusty heat generator isn't warming me. Sometimes I feel like if I would just turn around I'd see his smiling face, smell that scent that was him and him only (preferably NOT after a day of working outside in the heat!). I can hear his laugh in my head and in the videos I have.

For me, I really doubt there will be another love like that. I don't discount the fact that for some of you it has happened or will happen. That is a GOOD thing. But for me, remembering how hard we WORKED at it, how long it took and the fact that after a quarter of a century I still didn't have all of it right, means I don't have the energy for my arts AND a new love. My arts are here, now. They fulfill me in ways I can't describe really.

My goal now is to actually make money sharing my skills, growing my skills, learning new and more interesting ways to combine them into esthetic products and leave my mark, perhaps by creating things that could become heirlooms.

At the moment I'm a little bit sad, missing what was but I am also happy and excited about what will be. I think if he were hanging around he'd be looking over my shoulder smiling as he always told me I undervalued my skills and talent.

JD, I'm getting there! Thanks for putting my feet on the path. I will always love you.