Epiphany

Yesterday would have been our 28th anniversary. JD has been gone for almost 5 months now.
I've been through many, many things, shared a great deal with the ladies (and gentlemen) in my situation on WidowIsland yahoo group. I haven't felt like blogging.
We hear so many things that sound like platitudes such as "as long as you remember him he is not gone" etc. And they roll off, not helping much.
Today I had an epiphany. It became so real, so fundamental that my life and attitude underwent a sea change. It is TRUE. JD is not, and will never be truly gone as long as I, or any other person whose life he affected still lives. And it can be generational.
I am not the same person I'd have been if I'd never met him or had not worked to make our relationship grow. Sure, I changed him and his life too but this is about JD. Who he was, how he handled things, his stories, his actions, his love for life and creativity, his love of animals and plants, his sense of adventure and his intelligence along with his willingness to share with all of us changed not only me but the physical world (our road is now maintained by the county because JD made the drainage ditches work!) and the lives of many, many people he came into contact with. We are all different, mostly much better than we were because of him. As with a tree we will continue to grow in the direction he bent us. This is a very, very good thing!
JD brought out my self-confidence, my creativity, my reach in all things. He made me MORE. And he did this for our sons, our daughter and hundreds of others he came in contact with.
His "left behind" things are also changing lives. He put together books that are helping his MUFON group, equipment and rocks and such that are helping Phyllis and Jeremy and me fulfill life-long dreams. He left a legacy of love, energy, creativity, hope and positive energy that will affect us all and through us those that come after. He planted trees and flowers that will feed the soul and enrich the earth long after my body is dust.
I feel surrounded by him at this moment. I am not, nor shall I ever be, alone because JD will be part of me as long as I live and those I affect absorb much of that and pass it on also. As the rivers and streams carry mineral riches to the oceans, so does his effect enrich down the years and decades. Most will never know where the riches came from but that doesn't matter. They exist and are nearly eternal.
JD Willson, you are loved and will be loved always. Thank you.